Possum Holler

This is one of the most exciting weeks of the year for Possum. Pitchers and catchers report for spring training, UNC opens up it's season at the Bosh, the Academy Awards are fast approaching, and I'm proud to offer the second helping of the highest rated event in Possum's Online Journal/Possum Holler history, Possum's Oscar Prophecies! You can review last year's POPs at the old Possum's Online Journal . Last season's fulfillment was 50%, and after extensive time in the theatres studying a worthy group of films I hope to better this number. Here we go...

BEST PICTURE: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
I can't remember ever being as blown away by a film as I was by the final chapter of the Lord of the Rings trilogy. I went so far as to call it the most incredible cinematic experience of my life. It takes ahold of it's audience like no other movie I've witnessed because, essentially, it is the three hour climax to one of the greatest stories ever told. There have been better movies, even this year, but as an overall film experience there is no competition. LOTR successfully dethrones Star Wars as the ultimate trilogy in Hollywood history and finally takes home the Oscar gold.

BEST ACTOR: Bill Murray
I know that Sean Penn is going to win this award, and I can't say that he doesn't deserve it. He has compiled a list of worthy credits and this is finally his year. However, I risk taking the hit to my POP Percentage on the principal that Sean Penn's performance in Mystic River was NOT the best acting performance of the year. The best acting performance of the year WAS Sean Penn in 21 Grams. So, making up for this and the fact that Scarlett Johannson was not even nominated I will go with Bill Murray's worthy performance in Lost in Translation.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Benecio Del Toro
Three amazing performances drive the non-linear tail of three lives intertwined in tragedy. Del Toro should take home his second Supporting Actor trophy for 21 Grams.

BEST ACTRESS: Charlize Theron
I didn't get around to seeing Monster, but the buzz is that this is the closest thing to a sure bet there is this year (in another year, Naomi Watts would have had a strong chance).

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Rene Zellweger
Marcia Gay Harden was nearly as impressive as Scarlett Johannson. Holly Hunter was good, but not as good, I thought as co-star Rachel Evan Wood. Irregardless, it is Rene's year, and she completely stole the show in Cold Mountain.

BEST DIRECTOR: Peter Jackson (LOTR)
Sofia Coppola deserves consideration for her sophomore effort, and Peter Weir crafted an incredibly solid film much like my choice in this category last year, Martin Scorcese (Gangs of New York). However, Peter Jackson wins basically for his efforts in all three LOTR episodes, and very deservingly, I might add.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY: Lost in Translation
This film deserves to win something, and this is more than likely it. I thought Coppola did a beautiful job of fleshing out the relationship between the two main characters divided by such a huge generation gap. While there are hints of a relationship beyond friendship, the script never gives in to Hollywood romance.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY: Mystic River
This is the first category that we come to that forced me to make choices. While I was not a fan of Mystic River and thought that there were holes in the movie that I can only assume were more fully developed in the book, everyone else seems to love it. Thusly, I prophecize it will edge out Return of the King.

BEST FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM: The Barbarian Invasions
It's hard to find a place to watch these movies. I'm just getting the chance to watch last year's winner in this category (Hable Con Ella; I am putting it in as soon as I finish this). Honestly, I'm going with the only one I've heard of.

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE: Finding Nemo
I hear Triplets of Belleville is great and may check it out this week, but I think Nemo pretty much has it in the bag.

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE: The Fog of War
The only film in this category that I saw was Capturing the Friedman's which was extremely thought provoking and intriguing, but I've seen The Fog of War on too many overall top 10 lists to prophecize against it at the Oscars.

BEST DOCUMENTARY, SHORT SUBJECT: Cherynobl Heart
And we get into the "I'm completely guessing" categories where I had surprising success last year.

BEST ORIGINAL SONG: You Will Be My Ain True Love (Cold Mountain)
I wanted to pick the song from A Mighty Wind, but alas, it is just a bit too campy to be taken into serious consideration.

BEST ORIGINAL SCORE: Big Fish (Danny Elfman)
How can you not pick the guy who does the theme song for the Simpsons?!?

BEST CINEMATOGRAPHY: Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
I wrestled back and forth between Master and Commander and Seabiscuit. Seabiscuit was a beautiful film, but I finally settled upon Weir's film because of the awe-inspiring recreation of life aboard a ship of the British fleet.

BEST FILM EDITING: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Again I don't understand why 21 Grams isn't nominated, and nothing else stands out to me in the way that Chicago did a year ago. Yet, LOTR was very well put together and gets the Possum nod on this one.

BEST COSTUME DESIGN: The Last Samurai
The only redeeming quality in this movie?

BEST ART DIRECTION: Seabiscuit
Seabiscuit gets the prophecy here because I feel bad for not picking it for Cinematography.

BEST MAKE-UP: Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Folks, I'm just throwing darts here.

BEST VISUAL EFFECTS: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Three films with stunning effects. One sounds as good as another to me.

BEST SOUND: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Hey, it won last year.

BEST SOUND EDITING: Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
eenie, meenie, minie, mo

BEST SHORT FILM, LIVE ACTION: Most
Why not?

BEST SHORT FILM, ANIMATED: Gone Nutty
And so have I. Tune into the the Academy Awards Sunday, February 29 and play along at home as you keep score with Possum. I'll be back after the awards to breakdown my prophecies as well as unveil my very own top 10 list for 2003. If you feel like contributing, let us know what your favorite movie of 2003 was.

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, I'd like to offer the Possum Compatability Test. This simple exam will tell you just how well you match up with me, male or female. The rules are simple. Simply answer the following questions with either Yes or No, then tally up the number of Yes's and you will have your score. Feel free to share your score with us on the tagboard. Most compatible wins my condolences.

1. Do you consider shoes to be the bane of your existence?

2. Has your 40 year old boss spent all day on the phone trying to get his punk rock band back together?

3. Did you dress like a pirate before pirates were cool?

4. Do you believe that Elvis is still alive?

5. Have you ever driven 7 hours out of your way to see your favorite band play?

6. Do you frequently hear the phrase, "only you" after telling a story?

7. Have you ever skipped class(es) to work a crossword puzzle?

8. Do you make a habit of punching the snooze button for 2 hours?

9. Do you have friends that do not know your real name?

10. Do you believe that the Communists are spying on you?

11. Have you ever co-written a musical?

12. Have you ever grilled steak in a toaster over on Valentine's Day?

13. Do you consider a Friday night back home incomplete without a trip to the Walmart?

14. Are you used to being hit-on by old people?

15. Do you believe that any occasion is a proper occasion to wear camo?

16. Do you like any combination of the following movies: The Royal Tenenbaums, Wonder Boys, Bowfinger, Almost Famous, Ghost World?

17. Would you trade a good Carolina basketball season for a good Carolina football season?

18. Do you frequently quote any of the following: The Simpsons, Caddyshack, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Yogi Berra, Lewis Grizzard?

19. Do you know why when I say that last week week was the loneliest week of the year I am not talking about Valentine's Day or girls?

20. Would you really vote for Willie Nelson for President?

SCORING:
0-2: You are probably a pretty well adjusted individual.
3-7: You've probably never visited Rock City more than once.
8-12: You probably want to avoid walking and chewing bubble gum at the same time.
13-17: You're probably hiding from the Commies in the mountains while trying to connect telepathically with Elvis.
18-20: You're more like me than I am.

**So here is the deal for Valentine's Day. My plans are to enjoy dinner at K&W Cafeteria, then proceed to the Chelsea theatre to watch the movie Monster (no comment on watching a film about a woman serial killer on V-day). All you single folk out there, male or female, are invited to join me. Just let me know by Friday.** --movie and dining establishment subject to change

So it's a week late, but it's finally time to announce the winners of the first ever Possum Holler "Posse" awards. This, of course, is not to be confused with Possum's Academy Award Prophecies which will be foretold in about a month. Drum roll please......

Best Movie:
Key word here being "movie." Not "film." These semantics allow me to pick a fun flick and not feel I am doing a disservice to quite a few great films that I saw this year. And while I loved all of these movies nominated, what kind of wannabe pirate would I be if I did choose the obvious.
and the POSSE goes to: Pirates of the Carribean

Best Album:
So, I'm listening to Gruene with Envy at work the other day and 16 Days by Whiskeytown comes on prompting a conversation regarding Ryan Adams. My manager says, "yeah, he used to be kind of a buddy of mine." Intrigued, I enquired and it was revealed that in his younger days he was part of a punk rock band that Ryan was a fan of while growing up in Apex. The things you find out about people!
and the POSSE goes to: Rock n Roll by Ryan Adams

Best Roommate:
The obvious choice for this award had to be disqualified as it was pointed out that the cardboard deer technically never was my roommate as it spent the entire year either in the suite hallway, in the trunk of my car or in the closet. I was never officially roommates with Marc even though he put me up for way longer than one would usually consider welcomed, and, in all fairness, I never actually met Jimmy and Josh until after the new year even though I moved in with them in mid-December. So, by default,
the POSSE goes to: Will Hart

Best Live Album:
Since most of these artists rarely make it out to the triangle to play a live show, the next best thing is listening to a live album. Yet, the album from this group that stands out hands down in my mind reaches way down inside me like few others. The collection of songs from this troubadour has been in regular rotation since it came out.
and the POSSE goes to: Jack Ingram Live at Billy Bob's

Best Job:
This category occupied a large portion of my thoughts during the year, and when it seemed like all hope was lost, a great job came knocking on my door. But that still leaves us with the question of which job was the best leading up to my full-time, permanent status. As cool as it would have been, I never actually went on the road as a roadie...I just got to hangout with some, and working those 18 hour days prepared me well for the seven day a week schedule I've been keeping recently. I loved the railroad, and I still miss it, but the lesson I learned through it all was this: you work so hard to find a job that you forget that once you have a job you have to go to work.
and the POSSE goes to: Unemployed

Best Game:
The Cubs actually made it to the playoffs AND beat the Braves in the first round, and for an instant I forgot about my nature of pulling for losers. I forgot about the inevitable heartbreak and let myself get carried away by the notion of my all-time favorite team finally overcoming 95 years of bad luck. That series clincher was a great one, but I cannot look back without thinking about the bizzare and gut wrenching occurances that followed. KSU over OU was thrown in there just because that one game threw a monkey wrench the size of California into the college football bowl system, and the insuing chaos was amusing to watch for those of us outside of LA (both the city and the state). And credit where credit is due, watching the Heels beat Duke from the lower level in the Dean Dome my senior year of college was one of the most exciting moments of my life, but come on! I was enamored by these men wagering thousands of dollars on the drop of a card all summer. I think I watched more poker this summer than baseball! That in itself is an accomplishment.
and the POSSE goes to: Chris Moneymaker over Sam Farha (World Series of Poker)

Best Song:
Mile upon mile, I got no direction. We're all playing the same game. We're all looking for redemption, we're just afraid to say the name. So caught up now in pretending that what we're seeking is the truth. I'm just looking for a happy ending; all I'm looking for is You. And you came upon me wave on wave, you're the reason I'm still here.
It works on so many levels, it still blows me away after hearing it a thousand times.
and the POSSE goes to: Wave on Wave by Pat Green

Most Entertaining Television:
It would be unfair to give this award to Arrested Development since it is, in all actuality, a very good television show. And while Kids in the Hall re-runs are always fun, they are never quite as good without Will to share them with and make them funnier than they really are. So, I have to give this one to the only bottom feeding reality show that actually held my attention and kept me coming back week after week (hey, you have to do something when you don't have a job).
and the POSSE goes to: The Second Joe Millionare

Best Birthday Celebration:
C'mon, Will and Possum standing outside a dorm wearing Care Bears party hats, taking a toilet plunger to dinner at Chilis, playing improv games where Lori and Sarah play estranged lovers!
and the POSSE goes to: Sarah Wilda's birthday bash

Best Living Arrangement While Homeless:
I am appreciative of all the places I called 'home' while looking for one of my own, but no one else could offer a rundown house in the woods, no tv, no internet, no phone, water that smelled of sulfer. No other place came with the warning, "if you come home and there are people in the house that you don't know, just introduce yourself and roll with it." And most of all, no other place offered an actual bed! With apologies to King,
the POSSE goes to: Evan Travis's house

Now for what you all have been waiting for...a tradition that was thought to have been lost. This was a difficult decision. MAN oF The YeaR is an elite group of individuals: a tv culture icon, a US President, an adequate actor, the King of rock n roll reincarnated as a holy roman emperor. As is painfully evident by this very list of awards, we are often hesitant to go with the obvious choice, but there comes a time when you are forced to go with the obvious because no one else is in their league. Ladies and Gentleman,

The MAN oF The YeaR: Johnny Cash