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Tuesday, February 10, 2004
With Valentine's Day fast approaching, I'd like to offer the Possum Compatability Test. This simple exam will tell you just how well you match up with me, male or female. The rules are simple. Simply answer the following questions with either Yes or No, then tally up the number of Yes's and you will have your score. Feel free to share your score with us on the tagboard. Most compatible wins my condolences.
1. Do you consider shoes to be the bane of your existence?
2. Has your 40 year old boss spent all day on the phone trying to get his punk rock band back together?
3. Did you dress like a pirate before pirates were cool?
4. Do you believe that Elvis is still alive?
5. Have you ever driven 7 hours out of your way to see your favorite band play?
6. Do you frequently hear the phrase, "only you" after telling a story?
7. Have you ever skipped class(es) to work a crossword puzzle?
8. Do you make a habit of punching the snooze button for 2 hours?
9. Do you have friends that do not know your real name?
10. Do you believe that the Communists are spying on you?
11. Have you ever co-written a musical?
12. Have you ever grilled steak in a toaster over on Valentine's Day?
13. Do you consider a Friday night back home incomplete without a trip to the Walmart?
14. Are you used to being hit-on by old people?
15. Do you believe that any occasion is a proper occasion to wear camo?
16. Do you like any combination of the following movies: The Royal Tenenbaums, Wonder Boys, Bowfinger, Almost Famous, Ghost World?
17. Would you trade a good Carolina basketball season for a good Carolina football season?
18. Do you frequently quote any of the following: The Simpsons, Caddyshack, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Yogi Berra, Lewis Grizzard?
19. Do you know why when I say that last week week was the loneliest week of the year I am not talking about Valentine's Day or girls?
20. Would you really vote for Willie Nelson for President?
SCORING:
0-2: You are probably a pretty well adjusted individual.
3-7: You've probably never visited Rock City more than once.
8-12: You probably want to avoid walking and chewing bubble gum at the same time.
13-17: You're probably hiding from the Commies in the mountains while trying to connect telepathically with Elvis.
18-20: You're more like me than I am.
**So here is the deal for Valentine's Day. My plans are to enjoy dinner at K&W Cafeteria, then proceed to the Chelsea theatre to watch the movie Monster (no comment on watching a film about a woman serial killer on V-day). All you single folk out there, male or female, are invited to join me. Just let me know by Friday.** --movie and dining establishment subject to change
1. Do you consider shoes to be the bane of your existence?
2. Has your 40 year old boss spent all day on the phone trying to get his punk rock band back together?
3. Did you dress like a pirate before pirates were cool?
4. Do you believe that Elvis is still alive?
5. Have you ever driven 7 hours out of your way to see your favorite band play?
6. Do you frequently hear the phrase, "only you" after telling a story?
7. Have you ever skipped class(es) to work a crossword puzzle?
8. Do you make a habit of punching the snooze button for 2 hours?
9. Do you have friends that do not know your real name?
10. Do you believe that the Communists are spying on you?
11. Have you ever co-written a musical?
12. Have you ever grilled steak in a toaster over on Valentine's Day?
13. Do you consider a Friday night back home incomplete without a trip to the Walmart?
14. Are you used to being hit-on by old people?
15. Do you believe that any occasion is a proper occasion to wear camo?
16. Do you like any combination of the following movies: The Royal Tenenbaums, Wonder Boys, Bowfinger, Almost Famous, Ghost World?
17. Would you trade a good Carolina basketball season for a good Carolina football season?
18. Do you frequently quote any of the following: The Simpsons, Caddyshack, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Yogi Berra, Lewis Grizzard?
19. Do you know why when I say that last week week was the loneliest week of the year I am not talking about Valentine's Day or girls?
20. Would you really vote for Willie Nelson for President?
SCORING:
0-2: You are probably a pretty well adjusted individual.
3-7: You've probably never visited Rock City more than once.
8-12: You probably want to avoid walking and chewing bubble gum at the same time.
13-17: You're probably hiding from the Commies in the mountains while trying to connect telepathically with Elvis.
18-20: You're more like me than I am.
**So here is the deal for Valentine's Day. My plans are to enjoy dinner at K&W Cafeteria, then proceed to the Chelsea theatre to watch the movie Monster (no comment on watching a film about a woman serial killer on V-day). All you single folk out there, male or female, are invited to join me. Just let me know by Friday.** --movie and dining establishment subject to change
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