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That awkward space between reality and reality television.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
[Possum stands in the center of the ring, jaw dropped, eyes bulging as the announcement of Will "The Hitman" Hart's final pick rings out from the Titan Tron. Though his mic has been cut, one can easily read his lips as he screams, "No! No! He can't! He can't do that!"]
Round 5
A very courageous pick by my adversary, but one he may come to regret. By choosing Pete Rose in the 5th round "whart" has gotten personal. Charlie Hustle is no match for anyone on my team as far as wrestling goes even without the chicken suit, but that was not the intent. WPH knows how much I despise Pete Rose and is counting on this pick being a psychological blow to my team. A clever move, I admit, seeing as team "Corporate Meltdown" might seem to be teetering on the edge of out of control.
I had originally planned to conclude my draft with a wrestler that would pull everything together. I had planned to take a man that was respected by everyone in the business. I had planned to take a champion that unified the NWA and WWF belts and held those belts more times than anyone until Ric Flair came along. I was going to take Harley Race. I was going to take Harley Race, that is, until the San Diego chicken removed his big, yellow head.
One might argue that "The Million Dollar Machine" is already down one wrestler as the physical ability of Mr. Rose is somewhat suspect. Well, with my final pick, Mr. Hart, prepare to be down 4 wrestlers. I choose Mick Foley, Cactus Jack AND Mankind. That's right, I add three members to my team legally since they are all three alter-personas of one man.
One bold move requires a bold answer, so if I'm going to play the crazy angle, I've got to play it all the way. If everything goes as planned, "Corporate Meltdown" has the strength, durability and win at all costs desire that cannot be matched. On the other hand, it would not take much for us all to end up in the asylum. This is why I propose a "Straightjacket Match" for the next Pay-Per-View. The team that wins is the team that straps each member of the opposing team into a straightjacket and locks them into a big white van.
Alright Thrill, the teams are set. Do you accept the terms of the match?
Round 5
A very courageous pick by my adversary, but one he may come to regret. By choosing Pete Rose in the 5th round "whart" has gotten personal. Charlie Hustle is no match for anyone on my team as far as wrestling goes even without the chicken suit, but that was not the intent. WPH knows how much I despise Pete Rose and is counting on this pick being a psychological blow to my team. A clever move, I admit, seeing as team "Corporate Meltdown" might seem to be teetering on the edge of out of control.
I had originally planned to conclude my draft with a wrestler that would pull everything together. I had planned to take a man that was respected by everyone in the business. I had planned to take a champion that unified the NWA and WWF belts and held those belts more times than anyone until Ric Flair came along. I was going to take Harley Race. I was going to take Harley Race, that is, until the San Diego chicken removed his big, yellow head.
One might argue that "The Million Dollar Machine" is already down one wrestler as the physical ability of Mr. Rose is somewhat suspect. Well, with my final pick, Mr. Hart, prepare to be down 4 wrestlers. I choose Mick Foley, Cactus Jack AND Mankind. That's right, I add three members to my team legally since they are all three alter-personas of one man.
One bold move requires a bold answer, so if I'm going to play the crazy angle, I've got to play it all the way. If everything goes as planned, "Corporate Meltdown" has the strength, durability and win at all costs desire that cannot be matched. On the other hand, it would not take much for us all to end up in the asylum. This is why I propose a "Straightjacket Match" for the next Pay-Per-View. The team that wins is the team that straps each member of the opposing team into a straightjacket and locks them into a big white van.
Alright Thrill, the teams are set. Do you accept the terms of the match?
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