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That awkward space between reality and reality television.
Wednesday, May 19, 2004
This week, Possum offers you a zodialogical forecast for the rest of the summer.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) Take this time to write a love poem to that special T.A.. You know who I'm talking about. Compare their posterior to that of the sphinx.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) Walk around talking incessantly into your pager. Everytime you finish a sentence make that 'beep-beep-beep' noise like the walkie-talkies make. Get really upset that the shipment of PVC elbow joints from Topeka hasn't arrived yet.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) Stand in front of the dining hall during summer orientation with all of your notes from last semester. Hand everyone who passes by a single page and tell them, "Test tomorrow."
Leo (July 23-August 22) Quit your whining!
Virgo (August 23-September 22) 11 may seem like a lot, but keep trying. You will get there.
Libra (September 23-October 22) When faced with a difficult situation, ask yourself, "what would Possum do?" After evaluating why that failed you will have your answer.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21) You like Chinese food.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) As you are driving around town, pull over to ask every jogger or walker that you pass if they need a lift to wherever they are going.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19) Volunteer to give directions to people even if they do not ask or do not appear to be lost. Describe everything in terms of where things used to be. Homes of dead relatives and "where I ate lunch that one day" are useful landmarks.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18) If you can't beat 'em you're probably not swinging hard enough.
Pisces (February 19-March 20) Beware the eyes of Marge. The left one is lazy and she's very self-conscious about it.
Aries (March 21-April 19) Leveling the playing field could take a while, particularly if it is a grass surface. If it is on the side of a mountain, it may require a bulldozer.
You just can't make this stuff up.
Taurus (April 20-May 20) Take this time to write a love poem to that special T.A.. You know who I'm talking about. Compare their posterior to that of the sphinx.
Gemini (May 21-June 20) Walk around talking incessantly into your pager. Everytime you finish a sentence make that 'beep-beep-beep' noise like the walkie-talkies make. Get really upset that the shipment of PVC elbow joints from Topeka hasn't arrived yet.
Cancer (June 21-July 22) Stand in front of the dining hall during summer orientation with all of your notes from last semester. Hand everyone who passes by a single page and tell them, "Test tomorrow."
Leo (July 23-August 22) Quit your whining!
Virgo (August 23-September 22) 11 may seem like a lot, but keep trying. You will get there.
Libra (September 23-October 22) When faced with a difficult situation, ask yourself, "what would Possum do?" After evaluating why that failed you will have your answer.
Scorpio (October 23-November 21) You like Chinese food.
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21) As you are driving around town, pull over to ask every jogger or walker that you pass if they need a lift to wherever they are going.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19) Volunteer to give directions to people even if they do not ask or do not appear to be lost. Describe everything in terms of where things used to be. Homes of dead relatives and "where I ate lunch that one day" are useful landmarks.
Aquarius (January 20-February 18) If you can't beat 'em you're probably not swinging hard enough.
Pisces (February 19-March 20) Beware the eyes of Marge. The left one is lazy and she's very self-conscious about it.
Aries (March 21-April 19) Leveling the playing field could take a while, particularly if it is a grass surface. If it is on the side of a mountain, it may require a bulldozer.
You just can't make this stuff up.
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